My friend Laurie was in town last week, and after we had lunch she stopped into a Walgreens to buy an extra pair of dress socks for her husband, who hadn’t packed enough for the trip.

It turns out that Walgreens carries a line of mens’ socks marketed under the trademarked name, “Lookin’ Good, Mister(TM).”

Take a look at the label below. I love how the model is wearing a pair of $3 faux leather shoes, with his bony legs up over the side of the chair, as if to say, “I’m so confident in the attractiveness of my socks, that I’m going to sit sideways in this chair, with my legs hanging over the side to better expose the socks. I’m lookin’ good!”

The real treasure wasn’t on the front of the label, it was on the back, where the sockmakers print some advice they call a “no nonsense tip:”

“Most employers will let you take a break if you’re at your boiling point. If you’re about to do something really stupid at work, walk outside and take a deep breath. You’ll be glad you did.”

The label also urges readers to visit a website, www.nononsense.com, for “more tips on no nonsense living.” I checked out the website, and saw this “no nonsense” tip (among others):

“Love music? Its never too late to start a band. Ask around at work. Chances are someone there plays an instrument. Voila! Or shall we say, ‘Rock On!’”

I like music. According to these socks, this means I should start my own band, and ask various co-workers to join. But wait a minute. Doesn’t this contradict the advice from the same pair of socks, advising me to avoid doing something “really stupid at work?”

Let’s face it, “no nonsense” people do not join bands. They do not ask co-workers to join bands. They wear clean, polyester socks and work quietly in their cubicles. The real “no nonsense” tip should read as follows:

“Love music? Buy an FM radio!”

And what does this have to do with socks?